Finding My Soul
by ThatPanicGirlE
Summary: Edward encounters his fate on a train to New York. Will she change his life forever?


**S.M. owns Twilight. I just wondered how fate would challenge Edward. Thanks to my beta CertainShadesOf for her awesome Beta job. You are the bee's knees.**

The man adjacent to me on the train had some ideas of what he wanted to do that night. I read his thoughts as he eyed each woman, one by one on the train from Boston to New York.

_She looks like a struggle. _

_Her eyes are too bright, I would feel bad._

_Now, __**that**__ is a gorgeous woman. Oh, she has someone with her. Definitely something I don't need to get involved with._

Then he set his eyes on someone. I'd caught myself watching her too. The way she sat in the corner, hoping no one would take notice of her. Her thoughts also came to me easily. She was scared, alone, frightened. She was on the way to her mother's house. Abused, left for dead, her boyfriend had treated her like a piece of trash that blew across the streets of Boston. She was hungry. It was all she could concentrate on. A woman beside her peeled an orange, and the only thing the girl could think about was how great it smelled. She wanted it. My dead heart felt for her. I closed my eyes and tried to push her thoughts away. They were too much to bear.

My concentration went back to the man who set his focus on the runaway. His dark hair and complexion would have made him attractive to any woman. He used his good looks to lure unsuspecting women into his hold. They would die staring into his dark eyes, never once knowing beforehand his evil ways.

He had plans for her. The moment that the train stopped in New York and they got off, he would follow her. He would corner her, take his hands, cover her mouth to muffle her screams, and it would be over with. Her soul would disappear forever, and he would walk away, a free man, as he had done so many times before. I saw the evil plan as it unfolded in his mind. He seemed to enjoy the idea of hurting this young lady.

After my rebirth, it was meant for me to stay hidden in the shadows of humanity. I tried to be inconspicuous on the train ride to New York. I wore my jacket the entire time so no one would take notice of my pale arms. I wore my fedora lower than normal. Everyone on the train thought I was the creep, yet they had no idea that the very man, one who looked of stature and grace was the evil one. I was okay being in my corner. No one bothered me, and I was never worried about how people perceived me. I was made of evil, and it was best that no one got to know what or who I really was - a man with no soul.

Reveling in the thought of eternal damnation made my calling much easier. I only touched those who deserved to die. They were the scum of humanity. It had been a very long time since I'd laid eyes on a killer of the likes of this man, and I knew that I had to save this girl. The train ride was long and mentally tiresome. I pushed the others' thoughts out of my mind, concentrating solely on the man and the girl.

I glanced up to see if the girl was okay, and as I did, our eyes met. I wanted to look away but the blue, beautiful eyes mesmerized me. She smiled, and I quickly looked away.

_He seems nice, _she said in her mind.

I scoffed at the thought. _Nice? The poor girl has no idea how close she is to death._ I almost considered going to talk to her, maybe throwing the killer off his game, but I had promised myself that I would get to know no one and they sure as hell wouldn't get to know me.

I watched as the evil man stood and sat closer to the girl. He kept leaning towards her, sniffing.

_He's smelling his prey,_ I said to myself. _Little does he know, I smell mine too_.

We were merely fifteen minutes outside of New York when I glanced up again. He had moved even closer to her, and she had no idea that he was stalking her. She was oblivious, trapped in her own world of starvation and frustration.

_I shouldn't have left. He said that he was going to be a better person. My mom and dad are disappointed. I could hear it in their voices. _She sighed, and so did I. I felt her pain and torment. She just wanted a better life.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the train is now approaching Grand Central Station. Thank you so much for traveling with us today," a voice boomed over the loudspeaker. The girl stood up to gather her belongings. She dropped her suitcase onto the floor, and the man took the opportunity to rescue the day.

"I'm so sorry," she said to him.

"It's okay," he said, nearly smacking his lips. "The pleasure was all mine."

_Sure it was, you pervert._

_Another nice person. I never thought there were nice people who would be willing to help a girl like me._

That was when I knew that I had to do something. I knew in the beginning that the man would face the ultimate price, but he was taking advantage of the situation now. He interjected himself into her life, and she believed that he was nice.

The train came to a stop, and I grabbed my briefcase. I traveled light between Boston and New York. I had originally come to New York to see someone, but today, fate brought me together with this girl. It was my job to protect her first. Never mind my petty reasons.

I walked nearly 20 steps behind her as she walked to the entrance of Grand Central. She looked left then right, unsure of which way to go.

_Where did Mom and Dad say they lived now?_ She asked herself. _I'll go left first, _she thought.

She turned left, and I could feel the apprehension in her voice. She was completely lost but refused help. That was until the man came out of nowhere.

"Are you lost?" he asked. She gasped as he came up behind her.

"Actually, I believe I am. I'm trying to find my mother and father's apartment. I have the address here." She handed him the piece of paper.

_202 E. 5__th__ Ave. _I saw him read.

"It's right this way," he said. He took her by the arm and escorted her in the opposite direction of her parent's house.

"So tell me what a beautiful girl is doing out in New York City all alone on a night like this?" he asked, leaning into her hair, taking another sniff.

_She smells like roses on a summer day. I hate that she has to die._

The girl unsuspecting of the man's thoughts answered with no problem. "I just divorced my husband, and I'm on my own."

"That's such a shame that a beautiful girl like you should have to deal with a problem like that. What is your name?"

"Margaret. Yours?"

"I'm John. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

She looked up for the first time since leaving the station and quickly realized that the buildings were becoming darker and further away from the city.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" she asked. Her heart sped up. I could feel the tension and fear in her building. She was finally beginning to question the motives of the man she'd trusted.

"I'm very sure this is the right way." Before she could say anything to him, he grabbed her arm harder and forced her down the alleyway between two abandoned buildings. He snatched the suitcase from her and threw it in a dumpster as they passed.

"What are you doing?" she screamed.

"If you don't quiet down, I'll make it worse on you," he said.

I stood in the shadows watching, waiting to make my move. I felt the venom building in my mouth. He was going to regret ever choosing Margaret as his prey.

"Please, don't do this," she begged. He hiked up her dress and quickly tore her bloomers off. As he tried to unfasten his pants, I gracefully walked up behind him, not making a sound. My hand grabbed his neck and pulled him backwards, away from the girl.

"You think it's okay for you to hurt women, do you?" I said through my venom covered teeth.

He tried to squeak out a response, but I was holding his neck so tight the words would not come.

"I didn't think so." I pulled him to the other side of the dumpster. I had to do this without Margaret seeing.

I turned his neck sideways and bit down. He screamed, but I didn't take notice as all my victims screamed.

Then out of the blue I heard a voice.

"Please, don't…"

My instincts always took over when I smelled blood and everything became my prey but for some reason, I calmed down when she spoke.

"Let him go. Don't kill him. I think you've scared him enough."

"It's too late," I said through my venom and blood soaked lips.

I looked down at the man as his eyes glazed over. I knew he was gone. I couldn't hear his heartbeat anymore.

"Are you hurt?" I asked. She shook her head no.

"I need my suitcase back through," she said.

I quickly ran to the suitcase and presented it to her within seconds.

_What are you?_ She asked herself.

"Someone you need to stay away from," I said back to her. She gasped.

"You can read my mind?"

I nodded. "How do you think I knew what he had planned for you?" I turned away, about to run in the opposite direction. She couldn't know I existed. The Volturi would have had a field day with me.

"Please, don't leave," she said.

"I have to go. I can't explain way. Please just trust me."

"But you saved me. I wish I could thank you, but I have no way to repay you."

I heard her stomach rumble. I pulled a handkerchief out of my pocket and cleaned my face and sighed.

"You're hungry. Let's go get you something to eat. I know where your parents live, and I promise to deliver you safely to them, unlike this jerk who wanted you dead."

She smiled, and I felt better. After picking up her suitcase, she looked me straight in the eyes.

"If you tell me your story, I promise I won't say a word. That can be my repayment for you. You seem to need someone to talk to."

She was right. It has been nearly six years since I'd stepped foot in New York City. This was where Carlisle lived. He was my father, my brother and my friend all rolled into one. I was dissatisfied with his lifestyle based on the blood of animals alone. My thirst had gotten the best of me, and it was then that I decided to go out on my own and discover what I really was; a killer disguised in a beautiful person. I only hunted the pure evil ones though. In a way it made me believe that I was doing a service instead of killing a human being.

We walked in silence to the local twenty-four hour diner. I carried her suitcase most of the way, and as we stepped through the door, she grabbed it back as we sat at a table.

Immediately, the waitress was drawn to me. _Wow, he is so handsome. I never get guys like this in here._

"Can I get you two something?" she said, smacking on her gum.

"I'd like a glass of ice water," I said. "My friend here can order anything she'd like." Margaret looked down at the menu and settled on a burger and fries with a Coke.

The waitress walked away, and the first question Margaret asked was, "Are you a vampire?"

I nodded my head yes. I was glad that the diner was half empty because she'd asked pretty loudly.

"So you just kill mean people?" she asked again.

"Yes, only those who want to harm another."

The waitress brought our drinks, and as Margaret sipped on her drink, I could hear the questions as they formed before she spoke.

"Yes, I could go out in the day time. No, I don't sleep in coffins, and no, I don't have to live off human blood."

"No fair," she said, nearly laughing. I smiled as she took another sip.

"So why are you in New York?" she asked.

"I've come to ask for forgiveness, even though I don't think I should be given another chance."

She pondered that for a moment and said. "What do you need forgiveness for?"

I looked out the window at the silent New York streets and sighed. Could I retell this story to this stranger?

"I've come to see my maker, Carlisle. He is different from most of us. He lives a life of animal blood while the majority of my kind prefers the taste of humans. I tried to live that way, but I just couldn't do it. I felt my hunger grow each day, and finally, it just became too much. He understood and let me go. I just feel like I've disappointed him."

She hung her head down and sighed. She picked at her fingernail then stared back up at me again.

"My mother and father allowed me to marry a man that they knew was wrong for me. They did it because they wanted me to be happy, and at one time, I was. He was kind to me and my friends, but once he got me away from my family, he became a mean, controlling person. It took nearly two years for me to realize that he wasn't the one for me. Sometimes, our parents allow us to make mistakes and come back home once we realize that we're not perfect. You should allow yourself forgiveness, and don't let your own insecurities about yourself get in the way."

She spoke so confidently. This wasn't the same unsure girl that was on the train.

"Can you accept your own advice?" I asked her.

She shook her head no. "It will take a while for me to understand that too, but believe me, I will one day. I will find someone that will make me happy, and I refuse to allow them to run over me again."

The food arrived, and I watched as she devoured the burger. When she was done, she pushed the plate forward and sighed. "That was either the best burger I've ever eaten, or I was super hungry."

"I think you were just hungry."

She laughed. "So have you made up your mind about what you need to do with Carlisle?" she asked.

"I will accept the fact that he may or may not forgive me, but I know it will be for the better. I can accept the fact that I have no soul."

She gasped. "No soul? Are you serious? You save helpless people from a horrendous fate. You put yourself in situations that could get you caught, and yet you think you don't have a soul? My friend, you are the most soulful person I've ever met. You rescued me, and that alone warrants a place in the afterlife for you."

I scoffed. I'd heard this story many times before from Carlisle. He assured me that I in fact did have a soul. I could never believe him but the way this girl spoke, she seemed so sure of herself and allowed me to believe it to an extent myself. I wasn't one-hundred percent sure, but I was getting there.

"Let's get you home," I said.

I paid the bill and headed out the door with Margaret beside me.

"Will I ever see you again?" she asked.

"I doubt it," I replied. "It's better that you don't get mixed up with my kind. There are so many things that could happen to you and to me."

She nodded as if she understood.

"Well, sir it was nice to meet you," she said. "I never caught your name."

"It's Edward, ma'am. Edward Cullen." She shook my hand and smiled.

We stopped at her front door, and she sighed. "Well thank you Edward for everything you've done. You have no idea how much I appreciate it all. I promise that your secret will be safe with me from this point on."

I smiled as I walked away. I stood at the street corner watching as her parents came to the door and hugged her tightly. I had done my duty.

**FAST FORWARD 10 YEARS**

I knew better than to look her up, but I also knew that I needed to make sure she was okay. I didn't have to go far to find her. Alice, my new sister, had told me that in that one moment when I rescued Margaret, I changed my fate forever. I had no idea what she meant, and I doubted I ever would. She just did as she always did and stayed cryptic regarding my future. I didn't really want to know to be honest with you, but I believed her.

I found Margaret in the New York society page, donned in a beautiful wedding gown and standing beside a very handsome man who looked as kind as she was. I smiled as I read the caption.

_Mr. Charles Swan marries socialite Margaret Marie Iris_

I clipped the picture and writing out of the newspaper and placed it away with my scrapbook of my life. I knew in that one moment that Margaret rescued me that day as much as I had rescued her. She believed I had a soul, and I was well on my way to finding it.


End file.
